The Wemmicks - Max Lucado

You Are Special

The Wemmicks were small wooden people. Each of the wooden

people was carved by a woodworker named Eli. His workshop sat

on a hill overlooking their village.

Every Wemmick was different. Some had big noses, others had

large eyes. Some were tall and others were short. Some wore

hats, others wore coats. But all were made by the same carver

and all lived in the village. And all day, every day, the Wemmicks

did the same thing They gave each other stickers. Each Wemmick

had a box of golden star stickers and a box of gray dot stickers.

Up and down the streets all over the city, people could be seen

sticking stars or dots on one another. The pretty ones, those

with smooth wood and fine paint, always got stars. But if the

wood was rough or the paint chipped, the Wemmicks gave dots.

The talented ones got stars, too. Some could lift big sticks high

above their heads or jump over tall boxes. Still others knew big

words or could sing very pretty songs. Everyone gave them stars.

Some Wemmicks had stars all over them! Every time they got

a star it made them feel so good that they did something else

and got another star.

Others, though, could do little. They got dots. Punchinello

was one of these. He tried to jump high like the others, but

he always fell. And when he fell, the others would gather

around and give him dots. Sometimes when he fell, it would

scar his wood, so the people would give him more dots. He

would try to explain why he fell and say something silly, and

the Wemmicks would give him more dots.

After a while he had so many dots that he didn't want to go

outside. He was afraid he would do something dumb such as

forget his hat or step in the water, and then people would give

him another dot. In fact, he had so many gray dots that some

people would come up and give him one without reason.

"He deserves lots of dots," the wooden people would agree

with one another. "He's not a good wooden person." After

a while Punchinello believed them.

"I'm not a good Wemmick," he would say. The few times

he went outside, he hung around other Wemmicks who had a

lot of dots. He felt better around them.

One day he met a Wemmick who was unlike any he'd ever

met. She had no dots or stars. She was just wooden. Her name

was Lulia. It wasn't that people didn't try to give her stickers; it's just that the stickers didn't stick.

Some admired Lulia for having no dots, so they would run

up and give her a star. But it would fall off. Some would look

down on her for having no stars, so they would give her a dot.

But it wouldn't stay either.

'That's the way I want to be, 'thought Punchinello. 'I don't

want anyone's marks.' So he asked the stickerless Wemmick

how she did it.

" It's easy," Lulia replied. "every day I go see Eli."

"Eli?"

"Yes, Eli. The woodcarver. I sit in the workshop with him."

"Why?"

"Why don't you find out for yourself? Go up the hill. He's

there."

And with that the Wemmick with no marks turned and skipped away.

"But he won't want to see me!" Punchinello cried out.

Lulia didn't hear. So Punchinello went home. He sat near a

window and watched the wooden  people as they scurried

around giving each other stars and dots. "It's not right," he

muttered to himself. And he resolved to go see Eli. He walked

up the narrow path to the top of the hill and stepped into the

big shop. His wooden eyes widened at the size of everything.

The stool was as tall as he was. He had to stretch on his tiptoes

to see the top of the workbench. A hammer was as long as

his arm.  Punchinello swallowed hard.

" I'm not staying here!" and he turned to leave. Then he heard

his name.

"Punchinello?" The voice was deep and strong. Punchinello

stopped. "Punchinello! How good to see you. Come and let

me have a look at you."

Punchinello turned slowly and looked at the large bearded

craftsman.

"You know my name?" the little Wemmick asked. "Of course

I do. I made you."

Eli stooped down and picked him up and set him on the bench.

"Hmm," the maker spoke thoughtfully as he inspected the gray

circles.  "Looks like you've been given some bad marks."

"I didn't mean to, Eli. I really tried hard."

"Oh, you don't have to defend yourself to me, child.

I don't care what the other Wemmicks think."

"You don't?"

"No, and you shouldn't either. Who are they to give

stars or dots? They're Wemmicks just like you. What

they think doesn't matter, Punchinello. All that matters

is what I think. And I think you are pretty special."

Punchinello laughed. "Me, special? Why? I can't walk fast. I

can't jump. My paint is peeling. Why do I matter to you?"

Eli looked at Punchinello, put his hands on those small wooden

shoulders, and spoke very slowly. "Because you're mine.

That's why you matter to me."

Punchinello had never had anyone look at him like this--much

less his maker. He didn't know what to say.

"Every day I've been hoping you'd come," Eli explained.

"I came because I met someone who had no marks."

"I know. She told me about you."

"Why don't the stickers stay on her?"

"Because she has decided that what I think is more

important than what they think. The stickers only

stick if you let them."

"What?"

"The stickers only stick if they matter to you. The

more you trust my love, the less you care about the

stickers."

"I'm not sure I understand."

"You will, but it will take time. You've got a lot of

marks. For now, just come to see me every day and

let me remind you how much I care."

Eli lifted Punchinello off the bench and set him on the ground.

"Remember," Eli said as the Wemmick walked out the

door. "You are special because I made you. And I don't

make mistakes."

Punchinello didn't stop, but in his heart he thought, "I think he

really means it."

And when he did, a dot fell to the ground.

By Max Lucado

The Koru - the fairy

The Koru

Tiny spirals curled up tight

Nestled together, a beautiful sight

Protected & nurtured so tenderly

Encircled with love & purity.

These tiny buds emerge & grow

Stroked by the suns gentle glow

To create new life & then begin

To divulge the secrets held within.

To follow their path & gaze in wonder

Moving outwards with time to ponder

The meaning of life & its mysteries

To be understood in numerous ways.

Then journey inwards, drawn to the core

To keep you grounded & secure

To know that deep within your soul

You'll find the essence of your goal.

Alone or lonely - by the fairy

Alone or Lonely

Loneliness feels like a gap in your being

A sense of desolation that you are feeling

An emptyness thats hard to fill

The isolation-a bitter pill.

Loneliness causes an ache in your heart

A need to connect & feel a part

Of something meaningful & jolly

To lift you from this melancholy.

Loneliness is lack of love

No special person to be thinking of

Unhappy & bored within yourself

You crave the stimulous of someone else.

 

Aloneness is always a feeling of joy

A selfish trait you like to employ

No need to consider others desires

Just go with the path that moves & inspires.

Aloneness is freedom to be who you are

A total release from torment & care

No need to pretend to be someone else

You can simply relax & enjoy being yourself.

Aloneness allows you to expand & grow

To learn the things you want to know

To choose the company you like to keep

& walk the labyrinth or write poetry instead of sleep.

Alone or lonely we all can choose

Its just an attitude, like win or lose

Loneliness lets you wallow in sadness

Aloneness brings tranquility & gladness.

Dark Horse Notes - Movie

Memories from the Dark Horse:  Beautiful film

When you do what you love, you become loved for what you do

The king has a lot of responsibility, and it slows him down.  So he can only move one step at a time.

No one had their hand on my shoulder telling me everything will be alright

Burn down the school!

Don't leave anyone behind
Guather the troops and protect the king!

How many times have you been pissed on?
How many times have you cried?

Hey Gen, stability hey?


Song:

If you need me
I want you to call me
Don't wait too long
if things go wrong
I'll be home

If you want me
send for me
Don't wait too long
Just pick up your phone
and I'll be home
Where I belong

Labyrinth

LABYRINTH

Described in "Finding your own North Star" - Martha Beck

1. ENTER: View current life.  Click red button to view 5 years from now on TV screen
2. FORCE FIELD: Push and feel the change
3. ATTUTUDES: Beliefs, behaviours, values, purpose, (put on cloak) - think of a positive aspect of your life that didn't change.  Why you do what you do. 
4. WHAT: What do you need to do differently to get what you want - new beliefs, acting your way into a new way of thinking
5. RELAX: Puddle Water – know
6. MYSTERY MENTOR: slope down to meet them
7. BRILLIANT SELF: light, potential
8. GIFT: What’s in the water as a gift?

Think Again...

Think Again... is a course by Coursera.org

This is my personal notes that I'll like to keep and learn from.

1. Analyse Arguments
2. Evalue Deductive Arguments
3. Evaluate Inductive Arguments
4. Avoid Fallacies
1. Ambiguity
2. Appeals
3. Beggin the question
4. General method

ANALYSE ARGUMENTS

1. What Arguments are not
• Fight is not an argument
• Can't win an argument by yelling
• Not abuse by calling nasty names
• Not Complaining
• Not just denying the view
2. What Argement is
• a series of sentences, statements, or propositions
• where some are the premises
• and one is the conclusion
• where the premises are intended to give a reason for the conclusion
• Argument is a connected series of statements to establish  definite proposition  (Monty Python)
• Put statements in a structure in the order of reasoning
• This is not always true as some proposition is already accepted to be true
• help us understand the proposition, and believe it is true
• Purpose Difference
• Persuasion: to convince someone to do or believe something they won't do without you (good/bad reasons)
• Justification: Reason without persuasion and others are not believing the conclusion (good reasons) 
• Ask: is this person arguer trying to change my mind? (Persuasion)
• Are they trying t ogive some reason to belive somenthing? (Justification)
3. Explination (when people believe it, but to understand why it is true)
• Causal: bridge collapse because of earthquake
• Teleological: why go to store? goal is to buy milk, reason
• Formal: peg does not fit in a round hole because it is square
• Material: golf club is light because it is made of graphite
1. The train make such a noise because
1. the train contuctor pulled a leaver
2. there were people on the side of the railway and he wanted to warn them
3. the whistle is shaped to let air release at a certain vibration
4. air has a certain density that allows it to make a noise
2. Forms
1. Narrative: statements,
2. Argument
1. General principles or laws
2. initial conditions / phenomenon to be explained
3. Explanation is an attempt to fit a particular phenomenon into a general pattern in order to increase understanding and remove bewildermen or surprise. 
4. Is not persuasion, justification,  generalisation, prediction
4. Arguments are made of: Language
1. Language is
• important:  Helen Keller (lost sight and hearing)
• conventional: ride on r/l side of the road, football/soccer
• representational: "calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg" Lincoln 
• social:follow conventions even if they don't make sense or don't like them
2. Language operates in
• Semantics: meaning of words
• Physical production
• Structural composition
• Etiquette
3. We don't need to know the rules to follow them
5. Meaning
1. Referential or descriptive view of language (not related to all comms)
2. Meaning is use (Ludwig Wittgenstein)

Book Review: The Inner Game of Selling

My notes and  comments from the book "The Inner Game of Selling" by Ron Willingham

There are 3 parts to our psyche that controls why we do what we do:

"I Am" - beliefs and values, self talk about your abilities (creative unconscious)
"I Think" - logical reasoning and goal setting (intellect)
"I Feel" - Influenced by the first two that triggers emotions

What do you believe?

Weak position:
"I believe that selling is doing or saying anything I have to do or say to convince someone to buy from me"

Strong position:
"I believe selling is a process of identifying and filling people's needs and creating value for them above what they pay me."

Process
Keep cards of clients with special occasions
Spend 2 hours a day to write notes to clients on their special days
Look for events and achievements they were involved in, and send them a congratulations
Call to see how clients are
Spend time with clients
When getting a referral, send flowers/gifts ??

Invite 6 people to lunch 5 days a week for the sole purpose for them to meet.
Send books, articles and referals to people he met
Law of Reciprocity


Definition of selling
1. Ask "Who might have a need, want, problem, or challenge I can help fill, satisfy, or solve?"
2. Approach people with the intent of first gaining trust and rapport with them
3. After gaining trust and rapport ask questions to determine whether they have needs you can help them fill
4. Your offering should help them reach their individual goals
5. After they understand your product, draw them out and make sure they are a fit
6. Negotiation is a process of seeing things their way and working out problems that keep people from buying when they want to buy
7. Closing is a step they take because of the benefits they'll enjoy

Beliefs
Your beliefs has a great impact on your ability to sell.  Without a greater sense of belonging and significance, negative thoughts can consume you.













Boundaries

"How long is now?" - by Tim Freke

The journey to enlightenment ... and beyond.

In this book Tim takes the reader through a journey in sharing his live story and demonstrating how to live both as an individual and being one with all. Here are my notes:

• "Things are not what they seem to be, and you're not who you think you are... because life is like a dream and you are the dreamer."
• When the story of your life becomes unbearable, become one with the world and perform the miracle of miracles... breath.
• awareness can't be seen, heard, touched or imagined. Yet it makes all of that possible.
• Let bo of the idea of yourself as a 'doer' of anything, and instead passively witness everything happening.
• "The traditional philosophy of oneness has a great deal to say about universal love. But there doesn't seem to be much room for personal love. And that troubles me..."
• "How remarkable! In Me, the limitless ocean, the waves of individual selves arise according to their inherent nature, meet and play with one another for a while and then disappear."
• "When I dream lucidly, I know that I am both a separate individual in the dreamworld and that I'm one with everything in the dream. When I live lucidly, I know that I am both a separate individual in the waking world and that I am one with everything in the life-dream."
• "Each one of us is the hero of our own movie. Isn't that great?!
• "I'm a walk-on part in your movie, Other people get to play the romantic interest or comic sidekick. But you're the star who's in every scene.
• "Objectively, you're an insignificant spec of dust passing through this vast universe. But subjectively, you're the center of the universe, around which everything revolves.
• "You're the hero of this great drama, so why not live heroically? Why not be open to the possibilities of all you could be and everything you could experience? Why not dare to be fully human?
• "And the secret to be really alive is to realize that life is like a movie, so you are fundamentally safe. In the movie there's laughter and tears, but everything is always okay... even during the scary parts.
• "It is important to remember that everyone is the star of the show from a different perspective. You need to play a positive part in other people's story lines, as well as inviting them to play a positive part in your story line. Then we'll all enjoy this adventure of life."
• "People everywhere need to understand that we're both one and many. This is the only way we'll heal the divisions between us."
• "It is because we are both separate and not separate that we can love each other"
• Polarity: "As a person, you are a body, and object, a thing in the world. As awareness, you are a spacious presence... a subject ... a nothing within which the world is arising like a dream".
• U2 One: "how we are one but not the same... so we get to carry each other"
• Big love: "We love someone when we see that we are two and one at the same time, so we connect through the separateness".
• "When I see 'you' as an extension of 'me', I end up trying to control you and mold you to fit into my world. And this is often how we treat our lovers, children, and friends. But it never works, as sooner or later the other person refuses to neatly fit into our story, and the relationship breaks down."
• "I've learned that the test of whether I'm awake is to ask myself if I'm being loving. If I'm not being loving, I'm not awake, no matter how much I try to convince myself otherwise."
• "I've learned that it doesn't matter what state others are in; it matters what state I'm in. Just as when two people are pulling taut a piece of string, it only takes one person to let go for the tension to end".
• "When I start feeling down, I just look around for someone who needs my help, and then I feel much better'.
• "Those famous among the angels are people who are just naturally kind and awake and unnoticed"
• "The power of intent, in being aware of our oneness while we're dealing with each other in our separateness, can have a profound impact on how we form our future together."

The mystery of the moment

"Becoming conscious of the mystery of existence is an extremely simple way to step out of my conceptual story. When I'm stuck in my dramas, I remember that in reality I have no idea what is going on, as life is always so much more than I can possibly understand. Then if I dive deeply into the mystery, my state of consciousness begins to change.

The pleasure of breathing

"Focusing on my breath, or any particular sensation, is a powerful technique that helps me step out of my story and into the mystery. When I shift my attention away from my thoughts, my mind begins to quiet down. This makes it much easier to disengage myself from my story and become conscious of the moment.

Being conscious of being conscious

"If I focus my attention on my subjective nature as the 'I' who is witnessing all that I'm experiencing right now, I begin to become conscious that my essential nature is a spacious presence witnessing a flow of ever-changing appearances, in which all is one."

"Every time we unconsciously go along with a neurotic pattern of thought, we rewrite it on our internal had drive. But every time we become conscious of it, we have the opportunity to overwrite it with a new way of thinking."

• "Any habit can only be changed in the present moment."
• "If we awake and experiencing big love, we don't need rules to stop us from taking advantage of others, since we can't help but act lovingly."

The enemy within?

"Having an ego is as much a natural part of being human as having a heart. But you don't want to be lost in the ego, as this leads to all sorts of suffering. You need to be conscious of both your ego and your essential nature as the oneness of awareness. You need to transcend and include your ego within your deeper identity. The ego doesn't need fighting. It needs loving."

"I don't need to reject some part of myself to wake up. I need to embrace all that I am. I need to be conscious of my spacious, all-embracing, impersonal essence, which transcends and includes all of my warring personas. Then I can start to integrate all of the aspects of 'Tim' into a coherent whole.

Both/And Thinking

• "It is unrealistic, you can't exile one of the poles of a polarity"
• We can't live without judgement, as it is keeps us from unwanted situations. But when you are stuck in judgement only, you can't see things from other perspectives. Be both judgmental and accepting and nonjudgmental.
• "Fear is a necessary part of life as it alerts us to danger, but we have to be courageous too to move past the fear and do certain things anyway.
• "It is okay to be selfish as well as selfless. If you don't look after yourself, there would be no one to be selfless."
• "The first organ of the body to develops first in the human fetus is the asshole. We all start as assholes, and we all stay assholes till the day we die, but not just assholes. We're great souls and assholes."
• "The idea of just being present sounds wise, but it's actually bonkers. If I stopped remembering yesterday and planning for the future, I wouldn't know where I'd come from or where I was going, I'd be lost, not enlightened. We need to be conscious of BOTH the eternal now AND the flow of time. And it's when we're conscious of both that we live lucidly."
• "don't be lost in regret and anticipation, be also present to the magnificence of the moment."
• "Arriving is a point on a continuum of traveling. Traveling is a process of constantly arriving."
• "It's about seeing negativity more positively. Good things come from bad things. We often learn more from suffering than from contentment".
• "We'd all like sunshine without rain, pleasure without pain, play without work, life without death... but you know this isn't going to happen"
• "For every yum there is a yuk. Start to embrace both as inevitable aspects of life"

The trickle of honey

"an old Sufi teaching story about a princess locked in a tower. The only way to get a rope to her is to as her to poor a trickle of honey down the tower so he can tie a piece of thread to an insect that will eat it's way up to the maiden. He then ties a string to the thread and finally a rope that the princess pulls up to her, where she then climb down the rope to join her prince. That is how life is to slowly work yourself out of escape of the captivity we sometimes feel.

Become like a child

"This journey is not something we add to our lives. It is the essence of life itself. Waking up is not an activity we engage in alongside other activities, such as making a living and enjoying our hobbies. Awakening is inherent in the natural life process, which is essentially a process of becoming more conscious.

"Lucid living arises when we both function as an adult in the world and play like a child in the mystery. But if we simply abandon the rational adult mind and become childlike, we don't evolve... we regress.

"We don't want to get trapped in the rational mind, as this can blind us to the magical dimension of life. But we don't want to get trapped in the magical world either, since this leaves us confused and vulnerable... and can lead to what we call 'insanity'.

"The adult mind is rational, pragmatic, serious, responsible, and stable.

The child mind is illogical surreal, playful, irresponsible, and creative.

The end of the story

"Death is not extinguishing the light; it is only putting out the lamp because the dawn has come".

States of Consciousness

"In the dreaming state, I'm more conscious than in deep sleep (but no idea that I am dreaming, and I believe that I'm my dream persona).

"In the waking state, I'm more conscious than when I dream (I see my dream was imaginary and the waking world seems 'real', and that my dream persona as a figment of my individual imagination).

In the deep awake state, I'm more conscious than in the waking state (I see the waking world is not what it seems, for life is like a collective dream, and my waking persona is an expression of the primal imagination, which is one with all)."

"Socrates claimed that death is remembering, not forgetting. This now makes sense because the more conscious I become, the more I remember."

How long is now?

"Your essential being does not exist in time and space."

"Right now I'm awareness witnessing a flow of thoughts and sensations. The appearances are in permanent flux, which is why the moment seems so brief that I can't catch it.

"No is an instant so short I can't measure it. It is also always now, so now is forever. The present is timeless".

"I am a person in time, but my essential nature is the timeless presence of awareness"

Where is awareness?

"Awareness isn't within my experience, since my experience is within awareness"

"Awareness is an emptiness that contains the world"

The 'I' door

"They said knock and the door will open, I knocked... the door opened, and I found I'd be knocking from the inside".

"We cannot solve our problems with the mind that created them" - Einstein. To save the world we need to think in new ways"

"We are not only conscious, we are conscious that we are conscious"

Be part of the All

"So I urge you to think about your death and then ask yourself what it is you want to do with your life. What do you want to be adn do and share before you take your bow and leave the stage? How do you want to use the resources of time, talent and money available to you? What does the oneness of our essential nature want to contribute through you?"

"What is life? I don't know. Yet the more enlivened I feel, the less I need to know and the more I want to rejoice and praise. All of my philosophical ideas, as the Zen masters say, are just fingers pointing at the moon. What is the moon? It's beyond words to express. But just look: How beautiful and mysterious it is. How bright and clear and glorious.

"The finger become uninteresting when I see the moon. Words are superfluous when I get the meaning. When I feel this big love, I no longer need to analyze everything. I just want to hold the whole world in my careful hands like a newborn baby. When I taste how sweet it is to simply be, I just want to appreciate the miracle of the moment and dissolve into the mystery. I don't know what's going on. All I know is that I love it."

www.timfreke.com or www.theall.org

Sunbathing in the rain

Book Review: "Sunbathing in the rain" - by Gwyneth Lewis

What an interesting read about depression. Gwyneth takes her reader through the journey of her own life, surviving with depression. Herewith follow some things noteworthy that I'd like to share with you.

It is a story about depression and how to accept the lows we go through, and stop trying to reject it. "Accept your feelings and your mood will change. Start observing your day rather than feeling responsible for it."

'It is good to do nothing, and then to rest'. - Spanish Proverb. Sometimes just accepting the lows and going through it, understanding that the highs will return, is all you need to do. Our need to fix things sometimes overwhelm us, and our depression is a way to show us that we do not need to control everything in our life. Sometimes we need to let go.

"Depressives shouldn't be held accountable for the way they feel, but they should for the way they behave".

At a time when Gwyneth was dealing with her depression, she was always aware that her mood did not just affect her, it affected her loved ones around her. So, even though it is easy to concentrate only on your own suffering, sometimes what is getting you in it in the first place is too much focus on yourself and too little on others. Like her husband said to her:

"There are two people in this relationship and you're not both of them".

"To pretend to know the meaning of everything is to lead a narrow, fundamentalist life. How much better to watch things as they appear, rather than as we might wish to codify them."

"Chart your mood every day. Keep a diary and rate your mood every morning. Select from the following: Totally debilitated, Down, Low, Distant, Normal, Participative, Bright, Happy, Enthusiastic."

This will give you an indication of your natural mood flow. We are constantly drifting between these states.

Gwyneth found Zen to be very helpful, and here follow some wisdom she noted:

'If you admire something for long enough, you incorporate that virtue into yourself.'

'You can only see people accurately when you renounce the vested interest your ego might have in them, and see them for themselves.

Being unselfish gives you the most reliable picture of reality. This has nothing to do with morals but everything to do with conforming to the truth of how energy and our conscience work together.

When your gain isn't the primary reason for doing something, your ego is less likely to mess it up. (egotism)

Suggested reading "Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance"

Happy reading

"How to work a Room" - Susan Roane

Some advice on when you get invited to those dredged social gatherings, and start using it as a way to network.

AVOID NEGATIVE SELF-TALK

1. I'm an introvert and people drain my energy
2. I don't make friends easily
3. I don't like parties with lots of people
4. I don't like small talk, I don't know what to say
5. I can easily become a recluse if I let myself
6. I don't like kissing & hugging

USE POSITIVE SELF-TALK

1. Making new acquaintances with a zest for life gives me energy
2. I easily walk up to people and introduce myself
3. I like opportunities to meet new people
4. I like to control a conversation and allow people to express themselves
5. I like to share experiences with other people
6. Touch is healing

3 Steps to improving your communication skills:

Change your belief of "Don't talk to strangers"
to: "You have a common interest, that is why you are all there"

Practice self-introduction
# your name and what you have in common with others

Don't wait to be introduced
# Move from guest to host behaviour

Books read in 2009

I sometimes read books, and then forget where I read something, so this is an attempt to at least record what books I've read in this year, 2009

"A view from Within" - Pauline Grogan, 2004
is a true story of James Lynch, who spend 44 years in hospital, and 70 years of his life paralyzed. It is said that when he was 14 years old, he was electrocuted while visiting on the Victoria ship back in 1931. It is not clear what happened, and there is no record of any incident on the ship, but it doesn't mean it didn't happen. The orphan Maori child who lived with his grandma in Tauranga was faced with a life of helplessness where he could hardly talk, let alone do anything for himself. His motor skills just collapsed, never to recover again. But against these odds, James lived to the age of 84 years, and died in hospital in 2001, left behind many friends who loved him dearly, and who's lives he touched with encouragement and love. No matter how little you can do, your attitude determines what you mean to others, and your place in this world.

"Can you teach a goat to dance?" - Mike Handcock, 2006
I a lovely self-help guid to get the best out of your life an work. The most intereseting part was the catagories of personality types at work according to music types, dependent on your expressiveness and your dominance:
- High dominance, less expressive:Rock people like to get the task done, fast moving, action oriented, sometimes at cost of relationships.
- High dominance, more expressive: Pop people are intuition orientated, good for networking and love socializing
- Low dominance, less expressive: Classical people are thinking orientated, analytical, look at all the options on the table before making a decision, methodical
- Low dominance, more expressive: Swing people are more relationship oriented, strong sense of justice. (personally I'm a swing - can you believe it?)

"Multicultural Clients" - Sybil M Lassiter, 1995
American focused, but still interesting read on how different cultures react to health care and how they seek health care assistance. The likelyhood that each culture/race will talk about what is wrong, or even if they would seek help. Interesting to me was the connection between what people believe spiritually and religiously having such a great impact on how the perseave health care, medication, and hospitalization etc.

"Snakes and Ladders" - Peter R Roberts, 2003
Nice one! 'The pursuit of a safety culture in New Zealand Public Hospitals.' This book overall gave me the idea that each company has a board game called snakes and ladders. The snakes are the punishment for when you do something wrong, and it takes you back a couple of spaces and force you to start again, for instance, when you breached a policy, it will take the company some time for you to trust you again. On the other hand, there is ladders, who are rewards for when you do something right. A promotion, a bonus, anything positive that helps you motivate doing more than what is expected of you. Your normal work day and pay is just throwing the dice, and you move from one block to the next, sometimes one space, sometimes 6, but it still represent your normal working life. Now if you company has too many snakes to ensure people are constantly doing the right thing, people are going to become discourage. If there are too many ladders, your people will become spoiled, and reward will come to easy and they'll stop working for it. The trick is to strike a balance in between.

"Researching Online for dummies" - Reva Basch, Mary Ellen Bates, 2000
Didn't get to read everthing, but the point is to plan what you want to research. If you want to visit a friends house, you won't just drive in the suburb and hope to find the house you are looking for, you know the address, and you know how to find it on the map. Research is the same. Sometimes the problem these days is too much info, everything interest us, but we do not focus long enough on something to intrench it, and make it our own. Read less, but read focused. (huh?? this will take me a while to grasp)

Human Behaviour

According to "Managing Maintenance Errors" by James Reason, Alan Hobbs, human performance is done on these different levels.

Nice reminders on what moods/emotions are stable and what aren't:

Six Marketing Steps

You would wonder why I'm reading marketing books. Well, looking for a job means selling your abilities and skills to a company.

Inspired by "How to become a Marketing Superstar" by Jeffrey Fox

Six Steps

1. Determine competition
2. State your benefit (why should customer do business with you)
3. Quantify the benefit
4. Dollarize the benefit (talk about loosing money, not saving money)
5. Express total dollarized benefit in 'per unit') terms
6. Demonstrate the true total cost of your competitor's product

Surviving Information Overload

This is some advise taken from the book "Information Overload" by David Lewis

1. Know only what you need to know (relevant?, reliable?, hard to obtain?, purpose?)
2. Spend time browsing
3. Build your metaknowleedge (where to find things - use reader to sort feeds/links)
4. Use fast, effective search engines
5. Don't panic, think rationally
6. Rationalize and Control communications

"Do you think what you think you think"

The book called "Do you think what you think you think"
(by Julian Baggini and Jeremy Stangroom) got me thinking...

The ultimate philosophical quiz book helps you understand any tension standards that one might have. In other words, certain beliefs that are contradictory with one another. I ended up with 6 tensions (of the 15 possible ones), which is a high ranking .... oops. So this attempts to help me challenge some of my own beliefs, and either change my opinion or answer on some of the questions, or try and live with inconsistency (not advisable by the author).

TENSION 1: Is morality relative?

1. There are no objective moral standards; moral judgements are merely an expression of the values of particular cultures. (Agree)
2. Acts of genocide stand as a testament to man's ability to do great evil. (Agree)

These two beliefs contradicts one another, one has to either judge people by your own standards, or believe that each person acts morally from their own perspective. Ouch. I'm not prepared to give up number 1, so number 2 will have to go.

However, the author challenges my thinking by stating that: "if moral judgements really are merely the 'expression of the values of a particular culture', then how are the values which reject genocide and torture at all superior to those which do not?" Hmmmm....

TENSION 2: Can you put a price on human life?

1. The right to life is so fundamental that financial considerations are irrelevant in any effort to save lives. (Agree)
2. Governments should be allowed to increase taxes sharply to save lives in the developing world. (Disagree)

When I answered 2, I did have it Agree at first, but changed it as I thought maybe it is little harsh. Now I can see and I confirm that life is more important than financial gain to me, and therefore 2 should change to Agree. Where does this leave theft, I wonder?

TENSION 3: How much must I protect the environment?

1. The environment should not be damaged unnecessarily in the pursuit of human ends. (Agree)
2. People should not travel by car if they can walk, cycle or take a train instead (Disagree)

Okay, so I kinda made myself feel better by answer disagree with no 2, but I really agree with the statement, and to be honest, I did start doing that as well (rather walk to the shop).

TENSION 4: Can we please ourselves?

1. So long as they do not harm others, individuals should be free to pursue their own needs. (Agree)
2. The possession of drugs for personal use should be decriminalized. (Disagree)

With this one, I don't agree that it is contradictory, because in case of drugs, the user will certainly do harm to their family. This tension I am prepared to live with.

After reading the authors explination, I am not so sure anymore, because what about drugs that are legal, like alcohol (and maybe road accidents) that are among the leading killers in our society. Even second hand smoke is bad for others, but yet are legal. "there is no reason to treat all currently illegal drugs the same."

TENSION 5: How do we judge art?

1. Judgements about works of art are purely matters of taste. (Agree)
2. Michelangelo is one of history's finest artists. (Agree)

Again, I am not giving this tension up, I still believe that art is matters of taste. Most people just happened to like Michelangelo's work. I am happy to accept some debate on this one.

TENSION 6: What should be legal?

1. The government should not permit the sale of health treatments which have not been tested for efficacy and safety. (Agree)
2. Alternative and complementary medicines are as valuable as mainstream medicine. (Agree)

Okay, so no. 1 will have to go, I forgot about alternative medicines. I use them myself and find them to be useful.

So I'm left with 2 tensions now, which seems to be reasonable.

And so I shall live with contradictions...

I end with the authors final thoughts on this section:

"is [our inconsistancies] someting we should be sanguine about, or do we all have a responsibility to think our opinions through much more carefully?"

Don't eat the marshmallow....yet!

"Don't eat the marshmallow....yet!" is a book by Joachim de Posada and Ellen Singer.

It's a small easy read book and serves again as a gentle reminder that we shouldn't count our chicks before they hatch. Except, it goes a step further, in that if we save a marshmallow today, we might have two tomorrow.

It addresses the concept that we challenge our 'fast-food' fast-gratification mentality of today, and maybe delay our 'wants' in order to reach our long term goals.

The five step marshmallow plan

1. What do I need to change? What can I do to stop eating my marshmallows?
2. What are my strengths and weaknesses? How can I improve?
3. What are my major goals? what is my 5 point long term goals?
4. What is my plan? Write it down and manage it!
5. What am I going to do to put my plan into action? How will I become willing to do what unsuccessful people are unwilling to do?

It's funny that we've become accustom to a philosophy that "life owes us something" and "good things comes to those who wait" or "good things happen to good people". Sorry to say, these are empty words. Yes naturally things happen around you without you having to do anything, but life presents to you opportunities, not solutions. It gives you a chance to show what you can do, but you need to do it. So..... what are you going to do about it?

Books To Read

CULTURAL INTELLIGENCE
International Dimensions of organizaational behavior - Adler, Nacy 2002
Cutural Orientation: An approach to understanding intercultural communication - Borden, George 1991
Put your best foot forward series - Bosrock, Mary Murray 1990s

OPEN UP COMMUNICATION
Manifesting your destiny - Dr Wayne Dyer
Reawakening Spirit in the workplace - Jack Hawley
Awaken the Giant Within - Anthony Robbins
The Magic of Conflict, turing a life of work into a work of art - Thomas F Crum
Kitchen Table Wisdom - Rachel Naomi Remen
The Power of Now - Eckhart Tolle
The Four Agreements - Don Miguel Ruiz
Approaching th Corporate Heart - Margot Cairnes

Books, books, books!

Here follows a list of books I got from the library:

Finding Work
"The 2006 What color is your parachute" by Richard Nelson Bolles
"I don't know what I want, but I know it's not this: by Julie Jansen
"Fearless Interviewing" by Marky Stein
"The five-minute interview" by Richard H Beatty
"Mastering the Job interview and winning the money game" by Kate Wendleton
"Career helium" by David Thompson
"The perfect Cover Letter" by Richard H Beatty
"The Successful job interview" by Clare Sutton

Business
"Just enough Project Management" by Curtis R Cook
"Business Think" by Dave Marcum, Steve Smith and Mahan Khalsa
"101 Internet Businesses you can start from home" by Susan Seeney
"Telling ain't training" by Harold Stolovitch and Erica Keeps
"100 Training Games" by Gary Kroehnert
"From know-how to knowledge" by Bryan Gladstone
"E-Business Innovation and Change management" by Mohini Singh and Dianne Waddell
"Change Management in Information Services" by Lyndon Pugh
"New Zealand Marketing" by Michael Clemes and Andy van Ameyde
"Understanding Company Financial Statements" R H Parker
"Strategy and Management - NZ" by Bryan Poulin, Bob Mills and Dorothy Spiller

Soft Skills
"Cultural Intelligence" by Brooks peterson
"How to work a room" by Susan Roane
"Communication Skills" by David Pinner and Dorothy Pinner
"Managing Disagreement Constructively" by Herbert S Kindler
"Listening Skills" by Iam Mackay
"How to lose friends and infuriate people" by Jonar Nader