Free Will

Why I don't think we have choice.

Somehow everything in my life has already happened.  I only see it happening one step at a time, in some sort of sequence. I have a memory as a 90+ year old, looking at the city, and see it burn. And I have tears in my eyes, and I can still feel the sadness.  Except it hasn't happened yet.

And what is time really?

Why do some events feel so real as if it happened moments ago?  And then I seem to know things that haven't happened yet.  My dreams are filled with mixed up compilations of what once was, and clues of what is yet to be.

And what is the future really?

Have I already made all the decisions of my life, and now I'm merely living out the karma of past events?  Can I really alter what happens in the outside world?  Or am I just a participating bystander, just playing my role in the movie?

And what is law of attraction really?

Can I decide what I want for my future and allow that to come into my life? Or is it all already around me and it depends what I focus on, whether I see it or not. But it doesn't mean it isn't there.  Every evil turn, every bright light, it's all there.

And what if I only see what I want to see?

It seems the only choice we really have is the meaning we give things and events.  Life can seem so hard and full of despair, if you only see the darkness within us all.  The rejection, the denial, the self interest.

And what if we don't have choice?

Well, what of it?  You don't have a choice.  Life will happen, people will kill, animals will die, plants will be destroyed, and plans derailed.  Even by love ones.  Our greatest critics are not the enemy, they are the ones sitting right next to you at the family table.

And what if you don't show up?

Avoidance.  Sweet measure of time.  We are so preoccupied with our own entitlement and needs, and we don't think there's an alternative but to punish those against us. Life goes on without us, we are but a spec in the greater scheme of things, and I wonder how much I really matter?  My fears and feelings, just another perspective.

And what if there is another way?

What if the holidays don't have to be so sad?  What if we can look to a new future, every day, not just the end of the year, and believe that what we do does not really matter.  That who we are are not our things, our family, our friends, our pets, our habits, our interests, our passions.

And what if we are just spectators of what already is?

Maybe there is such a thing of evolving of the species.  I have seen a change in focus in my lifetime.  People talking about new things.  But it all depends on who you talk to.  So many now believe the environment to be the top problem to solve, yet so many still believe its a hoax.

And what if all of this isn't real?

Some sad experiment by the gods.  Or one big cosmic joke.  The really sad thing is, once we're done with war, with the killing, not just of the animals, forests, but also ourselves.  What then?  What would we do and how would we be?

What if we share everything and no one needs to steal, would greed end?
What if everyone is fed with what is good for them, would we still crave what's bad?
What if there's no more additive substances, would we be bored with life?
What if  there's no technology to connect us, will we go back to fighting each other?
What if there's no religion tearing us apart and creating imaginary lines between us, would we then start to love unconditionally?

And what if we are not capable of peace?

Is that why the world needs to end?  Is that why it will be destroyed in a ball of fire, and natural disasters?  Have we outlived our welcome on this planet? And are we just spectators of a predetermined destiny?  A brutal ending to a cruel humanity.

And what if it all starts again?