Until Next Time, Odo

In September 1996 this wonderful puppy was born into our world. Odo, from the first time I saw you in the pet shop, I just new you were a bundle of joy, and you changed my mind there and then that we could have a third child.

Without knowing it, I've placed a difficult task on your shoulders from the beginning. I was hoping that you would alleviate the fighting between your new brother and sister, and with your presence help them to get along. What I didn't know is that I've put you in an environment that caused you to choose between them. It was a nowhere situation with two dogs trying to be top dog, and it left you in the middle of it all. Which ever way, you did it, and the fighting stopped.

I want to tell you that I'm sorry. No matter my initial intentions, your soft and good heart changed my life forever. you were so selfless, asking for so little, accepting so much responsibility.

You have protected your brother until the day he died, you would step in between him and other dogs in the park that was potential threats. You stepped up, bravely and without a thought of your own safety. And so you successfully defused many situations.

I don't know how to describe how much I love you. Sometimes I was not sure who was the mother, and who was the child. You were my protector, my comforter, my friend. You were the ultimate peacemaker where ever you were.

And in the later years, even though you had so much pain to bare, you pushed on and shared your love with us and your grandparents in such an unselfish way, that we will never forget your tender love. We also know, chances are that we will never be able to experience such dedication ever again.

I miss you... I miss your warm neck, where I could bury my face when I didn't want to face the world, I miss your gentle sigh confirming your content with your life, your excited bark when you know we're going for a walk in the park, your reserved excitement when you wade into the water... any water. Your 'zen' eating habits, picking up one pallet at a time, and savour each one as if it's the tastiest snack you had in a long time. You know, dogs normally turn about 3 times before they lie down, but you would turn, and turn, and turn, and scrub, and move the blankets until it is just right!

I regret not being with you in the last six months of your life (as I knew I would), but I also know that you forgive me and that you understand now why you couldn't come with us. My greatest fear for leaving you behind was that you would die alone on a cold vet table, having no one to comfort you. That fear was forever banished when on the early morning of 10 March 2009 you went peacefully in your sleep. Once again, doing the selfless act of letting go, because you know your grandparents will not have the heart to do it for you.

Thank you for being part of my life for 12 years, my gentle giant. I know that when ever I'm afraid, you would watch over me, facing the threat, ready to protect me with your life. I wish you joy where ever you are now, and where you may go next.

Play, my sweet puppy, play!!!

Who are you?

Contemplation at the sea side today:

How much do you have to strip away to get rid of all your masks? Do you define yourself in terms of your job? your home? your family? Your partner? your dogs? your possessions like your car? your electronics? your hobbies? your tastes in music, art, movies and other entertainment? If you strip away all your roles and responsibilities, what is left?

Who is the you no-one get to see? The you who only talks to the sea? the birds? the trees? The you who will submerge yourself in a stream. Naked. with nothing to hide you or protect you from the world. The you who loves the rhythm of the sea, the water that spray slightly on your face.

The you with no worries, no illness, no demands, no cravings and no suffering. The you who is content with what you have, because you know you can never truly have anything.

You who do not have to talk to speak, who do not have to move to act, who do not need your legs to stand, who do not need your eyes to see, who do not use your ears to listen, and who do not feel with your hands, but with your heart, your energy, your rhythm. Your rhythm that is one with the sea.

- by Anakin, at Milford

Books read in 2009

I sometimes read books, and then forget where I read something, so this is an attempt to at least record what books I've read in this year, 2009

"A view from Within" - Pauline Grogan, 2004
is a true story of James Lynch, who spend 44 years in hospital, and 70 years of his life paralyzed. It is said that when he was 14 years old, he was electrocuted while visiting on the Victoria ship back in 1931. It is not clear what happened, and there is no record of any incident on the ship, but it doesn't mean it didn't happen. The orphan Maori child who lived with his grandma in Tauranga was faced with a life of helplessness where he could hardly talk, let alone do anything for himself. His motor skills just collapsed, never to recover again. But against these odds, James lived to the age of 84 years, and died in hospital in 2001, left behind many friends who loved him dearly, and who's lives he touched with encouragement and love. No matter how little you can do, your attitude determines what you mean to others, and your place in this world.

"Can you teach a goat to dance?" - Mike Handcock, 2006
I a lovely self-help guid to get the best out of your life an work. The most intereseting part was the catagories of personality types at work according to music types, dependent on your expressiveness and your dominance:
- High dominance, less expressive:Rock people like to get the task done, fast moving, action oriented, sometimes at cost of relationships.
- High dominance, more expressive: Pop people are intuition orientated, good for networking and love socializing
- Low dominance, less expressive: Classical people are thinking orientated, analytical, look at all the options on the table before making a decision, methodical
- Low dominance, more expressive: Swing people are more relationship oriented, strong sense of justice. (personally I'm a swing - can you believe it?)

"Multicultural Clients" - Sybil M Lassiter, 1995
American focused, but still interesting read on how different cultures react to health care and how they seek health care assistance. The likelyhood that each culture/race will talk about what is wrong, or even if they would seek help. Interesting to me was the connection between what people believe spiritually and religiously having such a great impact on how the perseave health care, medication, and hospitalization etc.

"Snakes and Ladders" - Peter R Roberts, 2003
Nice one! 'The pursuit of a safety culture in New Zealand Public Hospitals.' This book overall gave me the idea that each company has a board game called snakes and ladders. The snakes are the punishment for when you do something wrong, and it takes you back a couple of spaces and force you to start again, for instance, when you breached a policy, it will take the company some time for you to trust you again. On the other hand, there is ladders, who are rewards for when you do something right. A promotion, a bonus, anything positive that helps you motivate doing more than what is expected of you. Your normal work day and pay is just throwing the dice, and you move from one block to the next, sometimes one space, sometimes 6, but it still represent your normal working life. Now if you company has too many snakes to ensure people are constantly doing the right thing, people are going to become discourage. If there are too many ladders, your people will become spoiled, and reward will come to easy and they'll stop working for it. The trick is to strike a balance in between.

"Researching Online for dummies" - Reva Basch, Mary Ellen Bates, 2000
Didn't get to read everthing, but the point is to plan what you want to research. If you want to visit a friends house, you won't just drive in the suburb and hope to find the house you are looking for, you know the address, and you know how to find it on the map. Research is the same. Sometimes the problem these days is too much info, everything interest us, but we do not focus long enough on something to intrench it, and make it our own. Read less, but read focused. (huh?? this will take me a while to grasp)