"How long is now?" - by Tim Freke

The journey to enlightenment ... and beyond.

In this book Tim takes the reader through a journey in sharing his live story and demonstrating how to live both as an individual and being one with all. Here are my notes:

• "Things are not what they seem to be, and you're not who you think you are... because life is like a dream and you are the dreamer."
• When the story of your life becomes unbearable, become one with the world and perform the miracle of miracles... breath.
• awareness can't be seen, heard, touched or imagined. Yet it makes all of that possible.
• Let bo of the idea of yourself as a 'doer' of anything, and instead passively witness everything happening.
• "The traditional philosophy of oneness has a great deal to say about universal love. But there doesn't seem to be much room for personal love. And that troubles me..."
• "How remarkable! In Me, the limitless ocean, the waves of individual selves arise according to their inherent nature, meet and play with one another for a while and then disappear."
• "When I dream lucidly, I know that I am both a separate individual in the dreamworld and that I'm one with everything in the dream. When I live lucidly, I know that I am both a separate individual in the waking world and that I am one with everything in the life-dream."
• "Each one of us is the hero of our own movie. Isn't that great?!
• "I'm a walk-on part in your movie, Other people get to play the romantic interest or comic sidekick. But you're the star who's in every scene.
• "Objectively, you're an insignificant spec of dust passing through this vast universe. But subjectively, you're the center of the universe, around which everything revolves.
• "You're the hero of this great drama, so why not live heroically? Why not be open to the possibilities of all you could be and everything you could experience? Why not dare to be fully human?
• "And the secret to be really alive is to realize that life is like a movie, so you are fundamentally safe. In the movie there's laughter and tears, but everything is always okay... even during the scary parts.
• "It is important to remember that everyone is the star of the show from a different perspective. You need to play a positive part in other people's story lines, as well as inviting them to play a positive part in your story line. Then we'll all enjoy this adventure of life."
• "People everywhere need to understand that we're both one and many. This is the only way we'll heal the divisions between us."
• "It is because we are both separate and not separate that we can love each other"
• Polarity: "As a person, you are a body, and object, a thing in the world. As awareness, you are a spacious presence... a subject ... a nothing within which the world is arising like a dream".
• U2 One: "how we are one but not the same... so we get to carry each other"
• Big love: "We love someone when we see that we are two and one at the same time, so we connect through the separateness".
• "When I see 'you' as an extension of 'me', I end up trying to control you and mold you to fit into my world. And this is often how we treat our lovers, children, and friends. But it never works, as sooner or later the other person refuses to neatly fit into our story, and the relationship breaks down."
• "I've learned that the test of whether I'm awake is to ask myself if I'm being loving. If I'm not being loving, I'm not awake, no matter how much I try to convince myself otherwise."
• "I've learned that it doesn't matter what state others are in; it matters what state I'm in. Just as when two people are pulling taut a piece of string, it only takes one person to let go for the tension to end".
• "When I start feeling down, I just look around for someone who needs my help, and then I feel much better'.
• "Those famous among the angels are people who are just naturally kind and awake and unnoticed"
• "The power of intent, in being aware of our oneness while we're dealing with each other in our separateness, can have a profound impact on how we form our future together."

The mystery of the moment

"Becoming conscious of the mystery of existence is an extremely simple way to step out of my conceptual story. When I'm stuck in my dramas, I remember that in reality I have no idea what is going on, as life is always so much more than I can possibly understand. Then if I dive deeply into the mystery, my state of consciousness begins to change.

The pleasure of breathing

"Focusing on my breath, or any particular sensation, is a powerful technique that helps me step out of my story and into the mystery. When I shift my attention away from my thoughts, my mind begins to quiet down. This makes it much easier to disengage myself from my story and become conscious of the moment.

Being conscious of being conscious

"If I focus my attention on my subjective nature as the 'I' who is witnessing all that I'm experiencing right now, I begin to become conscious that my essential nature is a spacious presence witnessing a flow of ever-changing appearances, in which all is one."

"Every time we unconsciously go along with a neurotic pattern of thought, we rewrite it on our internal had drive. But every time we become conscious of it, we have the opportunity to overwrite it with a new way of thinking."

• "Any habit can only be changed in the present moment."
• "If we awake and experiencing big love, we don't need rules to stop us from taking advantage of others, since we can't help but act lovingly."

The enemy within?

"Having an ego is as much a natural part of being human as having a heart. But you don't want to be lost in the ego, as this leads to all sorts of suffering. You need to be conscious of both your ego and your essential nature as the oneness of awareness. You need to transcend and include your ego within your deeper identity. The ego doesn't need fighting. It needs loving."

"I don't need to reject some part of myself to wake up. I need to embrace all that I am. I need to be conscious of my spacious, all-embracing, impersonal essence, which transcends and includes all of my warring personas. Then I can start to integrate all of the aspects of 'Tim' into a coherent whole.

Both/And Thinking

• "It is unrealistic, you can't exile one of the poles of a polarity"
• We can't live without judgement, as it is keeps us from unwanted situations. But when you are stuck in judgement only, you can't see things from other perspectives. Be both judgmental and accepting and nonjudgmental.
• "Fear is a necessary part of life as it alerts us to danger, but we have to be courageous too to move past the fear and do certain things anyway.
• "It is okay to be selfish as well as selfless. If you don't look after yourself, there would be no one to be selfless."
• "The first organ of the body to develops first in the human fetus is the asshole. We all start as assholes, and we all stay assholes till the day we die, but not just assholes. We're great souls and assholes."
• "The idea of just being present sounds wise, but it's actually bonkers. If I stopped remembering yesterday and planning for the future, I wouldn't know where I'd come from or where I was going, I'd be lost, not enlightened. We need to be conscious of BOTH the eternal now AND the flow of time. And it's when we're conscious of both that we live lucidly."
• "don't be lost in regret and anticipation, be also present to the magnificence of the moment."
• "Arriving is a point on a continuum of traveling. Traveling is a process of constantly arriving."
• "It's about seeing negativity more positively. Good things come from bad things. We often learn more from suffering than from contentment".
• "We'd all like sunshine without rain, pleasure without pain, play without work, life without death... but you know this isn't going to happen"
• "For every yum there is a yuk. Start to embrace both as inevitable aspects of life"

The trickle of honey

"an old Sufi teaching story about a princess locked in a tower. The only way to get a rope to her is to as her to poor a trickle of honey down the tower so he can tie a piece of thread to an insect that will eat it's way up to the maiden. He then ties a string to the thread and finally a rope that the princess pulls up to her, where she then climb down the rope to join her prince. That is how life is to slowly work yourself out of escape of the captivity we sometimes feel.

Become like a child

"This journey is not something we add to our lives. It is the essence of life itself. Waking up is not an activity we engage in alongside other activities, such as making a living and enjoying our hobbies. Awakening is inherent in the natural life process, which is essentially a process of becoming more conscious.

"Lucid living arises when we both function as an adult in the world and play like a child in the mystery. But if we simply abandon the rational adult mind and become childlike, we don't evolve... we regress.

"We don't want to get trapped in the rational mind, as this can blind us to the magical dimension of life. But we don't want to get trapped in the magical world either, since this leaves us confused and vulnerable... and can lead to what we call 'insanity'.

"The adult mind is rational, pragmatic, serious, responsible, and stable.

The child mind is illogical surreal, playful, irresponsible, and creative.

The end of the story

"Death is not extinguishing the light; it is only putting out the lamp because the dawn has come".

States of Consciousness

"In the dreaming state, I'm more conscious than in deep sleep (but no idea that I am dreaming, and I believe that I'm my dream persona).

"In the waking state, I'm more conscious than when I dream (I see my dream was imaginary and the waking world seems 'real', and that my dream persona as a figment of my individual imagination).

In the deep awake state, I'm more conscious than in the waking state (I see the waking world is not what it seems, for life is like a collective dream, and my waking persona is an expression of the primal imagination, which is one with all)."

"Socrates claimed that death is remembering, not forgetting. This now makes sense because the more conscious I become, the more I remember."

How long is now?

"Your essential being does not exist in time and space."

"Right now I'm awareness witnessing a flow of thoughts and sensations. The appearances are in permanent flux, which is why the moment seems so brief that I can't catch it.

"No is an instant so short I can't measure it. It is also always now, so now is forever. The present is timeless".

"I am a person in time, but my essential nature is the timeless presence of awareness"

Where is awareness?

"Awareness isn't within my experience, since my experience is within awareness"

"Awareness is an emptiness that contains the world"

The 'I' door

"They said knock and the door will open, I knocked... the door opened, and I found I'd be knocking from the inside".

"We cannot solve our problems with the mind that created them" - Einstein. To save the world we need to think in new ways"

"We are not only conscious, we are conscious that we are conscious"

Be part of the All

"So I urge you to think about your death and then ask yourself what it is you want to do with your life. What do you want to be adn do and share before you take your bow and leave the stage? How do you want to use the resources of time, talent and money available to you? What does the oneness of our essential nature want to contribute through you?"

"What is life? I don't know. Yet the more enlivened I feel, the less I need to know and the more I want to rejoice and praise. All of my philosophical ideas, as the Zen masters say, are just fingers pointing at the moon. What is the moon? It's beyond words to express. But just look: How beautiful and mysterious it is. How bright and clear and glorious.

"The finger become uninteresting when I see the moon. Words are superfluous when I get the meaning. When I feel this big love, I no longer need to analyze everything. I just want to hold the whole world in my careful hands like a newborn baby. When I taste how sweet it is to simply be, I just want to appreciate the miracle of the moment and dissolve into the mystery. I don't know what's going on. All I know is that I love it."

www.timfreke.com or www.theall.org

Humour and Positive Psychology

Humour and Positive Psychology course was interesting. Here follows my notes on what I'd like to take away from the session:

Thoughts

• Be present, not perfect
• You are able to feel a range of emotions, and you choose which one will linger the longest
• Find virtuous cards, and use them as reminders of your values
• Art means not needing anyone to provide an environment of acceptance
• For every challenge there is a support, just listen
• We grieve when we have no where to put our love
• Humour is inappropriate by design, but humour connects us
• "What you resists, persists"
• "If this is not possible, what is?"
• You give each situation meaning
• Be your word beyond the default
• Rather than disappointed, take the opportunity to be reappointed
• Believe nothing, test everything
• Commit to something above and beyond your own expectation
• Reliability means you don't take on too much so that you can keep your promises
• Tempering, be appropriately responsive
• Happiness is... to know your purpose
• Present moment is made up of thoughts, feelings, judgements, truths
• Find your humour style and start sourcing
• Use your vulnerable moments to get to the true issue, don't wait before you share
• If this is your second nature, what is your first nature?
• Get a fairy wand to indicate the turning of a page
• Send 3 pieces of glad mail every day (commitment, active listening, attendance, outcomes)
• It is not that we fear death, we fear dying

Concepts

• Equanimity (flow, mental calmness)
• Synchronicity (2 or more unrelated events seeming to be connected)
• Yogic Laughter
• u-stress - good stress

Additional Resources

• Ben Zanders, Davos 2008.2009
• Linchpin by Seth Godin
• Bob Hall story Norman Cousins
• John Demartini: Breakthrough program
• A new earth by Eckhart Tolle (the power of now)
• Relax and grow rich by Mike Hutcheson
• Guido Hatches (radio program)
• Torn: "Karaoke for the deaf"
• Mrs Hughes
• www.joyology.co.nz

Improv Rules

• 1st thought is correct
• All players are equal
• Ego disconnect the team
• be ready to give
• be open to receive

Communication

• When you do....
• I feel....
• What I would like is....

Don Miguel Ruiz 4 agreements

• Be impeccable with your word
• Don't take anything personally
• Don't make assumptions
• Always do your best

Wellbeing Components (Rate yourself 0-10 for each)

• Family Shared Time
• Partner
• Financial
• Work
• Recreation or time to self
• Spiritual
• Physical
• Growth Learning

My 10 Values in order of priority

• Love not fear
• Create your own universe
• Integrity (say what you do)
• Reliability (be your word beyond default)
• Trust
• Faith that you belong
• Family, care for others
• Inclusive
• Safe, create environment of non judgement
• Honesty

My 5 Character Strengths

as identified by www.authentichappiness.org: VIA Character Strength test

• Love of learning
• Bravery and valor
• Open mindedness & Critical thinking
• Curiosity
• Perspective (Wisdom)

What is your love strategy? (in 2500 words)

Getting the love you want

Happiness is...

Dear diary,

Isn't it funny how life are just a cycle and recycle of old thoughts? No matter how hard you try to create new habits, new ways of living, the old ones just keep on coming back.

You can change everything around you, but if you do not change the one thing that is not aligned with who you are, you keep on coming back to the same old feelings.

Or not? If you change every single thing and person around you, will it make one ounce of difference? I heard a saying many years ago that I'm sure you know it too, a simple phrase, but difficult to face. It force us to focus within, and now without.

"The world is your mirror"

Short, sweet, and seems harmless as the words roll over your tongue, and through your mind, and sometimes easily cleared by your internal thought filters. What does that really mean? Everything you see is a reflection of yourself. So, if you are not happy with what you see, if you stand in judgement of the world and see it as harsh, discriminating and conditional, does that not mean that by definition you are the same?

If the world is judging you, it is reflecting back your own judgemental behaviour. If the world seems unfair, think back when you have treated someone else unfairly. It shouldn't take too long to remember. When people seem sad around you, is it not because you recognise your own sadness and despair?

I struggle with this concept, as it is much easier to think it is outside circumstances that makes us miserable than ourselves. Not having to take responsibility for our actions and feelings and blame it on others is much easier than having to reflect on what the cause may be of our current situation.

They say you shouldn't make any major decisions when you are down / depressed. Fair enough, but if the same thoughts comes up when you are down, is it not worth while to consider that maybe the solutions you think of when you are down is worth pursuing?

Denial. Some problems just never goes away no matter how much 'change' you through at it. If you don't fix the core, you just continue to ignore it. But then again, you may not be seeing the wood for the trees. Who is to say what you see is real? What is real, anyway? Is it thoughts, a feeling, or just something you know?

Faith. Something we believe to be true. Yet, your truth may not be true for others.

Maybe life is just an experiment. A play ground where we are mixed with different situations to test how far the human spirit can go, how much it can take before it breaks away and claim the life it is meant to live. And what does that mean? Does that mean that once we've past the test, broke the rules of the experiment to proof the human spirit is undefinable, our life ends?

Just to move on the the next test or experiment. A new house of mirrors.

Happiness is... a reflextion.

Kindness

Economy of Kindness:

- soft is hard

- enlightened self-interest
-good is not great

Emmanual Kant philosophy is based on the fact that we rely on others as a means to an end. However, he stresses that people have an intrinsic value that is not dependent on our actions, our jobs, our output or how we make others feel.

If we accept that our value is inherent in our very existence, then everyone we encounter deserve our kindness and respect.

Enlightend self-interest: giving charity with motivation of helping others, but may even gain something from it ie. lotto.

Are you a Slave?

Solving the world economical problems is a big task. But I cannot help to think that somewhere somehow, things could be different. How much are we willing to give up though, to be part of this change?

The following comments were inspired by the book "The Empty Raincoat" written by Charles Handy

• What if necessary things were free? Would there still be a difference between the rich and the poor?
• If education, housing and food were provided to all, and all had their basic needs fulfilled, will that reduce crime?
• If you could give your children the best education you can not based on what you afford, but based on your childs capacity to learn?
• If you could go to the hospital and get treatment when you are ill, without having to fill in continuous forms to make sure you can pay the bills before someone will save your life?
• If you could travel where you need to be without having to pay for transportation? Would you appreciate this, or does it seem more valuable if we pay for it?
• Would we be more equal if we all have the housing, even if it is just the basic? Will we spend our earnings on bigger and better places?

A couple of months ago, a friend made a comment the other day when I asked him how many children does he want: "I don't think I want to bring another child into this world, I mean, think about it.. we are all slaves". I did not understand his comment, so I asked him what he meant.

"They say we have a free market, but really we are slaves who are handed some money by our employers just to be forced to spend it on consumerism." I still did not understand his comment, aren't we 'free' to spend our money how we want to? I mean, yes we all pay taxes, but that is to pay for all the other things we just use for free (roads, community buildings, parks etc. all these things cost money). And yes, I don't mind that some of it is going to others who are less fortunate that I am to feed their children.

After some more discussion, I am still not sure what got him to this conclusion that we are slaves in a market economy, but I do understand his frustration of constantly have to turn a blind eye to all the advertisements that invite you to live unhealthy (foods) and buy things you don't really need. But that does not make me a slave to it.

So, just in case I'm missing something, lets look at the definition of slavery as per my trusted friend, Wikipedia:

"Slavery is a system under which people are treated as property and are forced to work.[1] Slaves can be held against their will from the time of their capture, purchase or birth, and deprived of the right to leave, to refuse to work, or to demand compensation. In some historical situations it has been legal for owners to kill slaves.[2]"

Well, although it is better if you do work, I don't think we can say that people are forced to work. Life is certainly much easier if you do have a job, and you earn wages, but that does not make us the property of our governments. We are not held against our will, we are free to leave when ever we choose to work in another country, or for another 'master' if you will. We can certainly demand our compensation if we were treated unfairly by an employer, and our employers or our governments are certainly not in a position to kill us legally.

So rejoice friends, we are free! Okay, not everyone on earth is free, but certainly many people who complain about their situation, who feels trapped in their lives, believe they cannot do anything about it, feel like slaves. The question is then, who is your master? Who are you giving up your freedom for, and what do you get out of it? Because if you are a slave, it is by choice, not by design.