Free Will

Why I don't think we have choice.

Somehow everything in my life has already happened.  I only see it happening one step at a time, in some sort of sequence. I have a memory as a 90+ year old, looking at the city, and see it burn. And I have tears in my eyes, and I can still feel the sadness.  Except it hasn't happened yet.

And what is time really?

Why do some events feel so real as if it happened moments ago?  And then I seem to know things that haven't happened yet.  My dreams are filled with mixed up compilations of what once was, and clues of what is yet to be.

And what is the future really?

Have I already made all the decisions of my life, and now I'm merely living out the karma of past events?  Can I really alter what happens in the outside world?  Or am I just a participating bystander, just playing my role in the movie?

And what is law of attraction really?

Can I decide what I want for my future and allow that to come into my life? Or is it all already around me and it depends what I focus on, whether I see it or not. But it doesn't mean it isn't there.  Every evil turn, every bright light, it's all there.

And what if I only see what I want to see?

It seems the only choice we really have is the meaning we give things and events.  Life can seem so hard and full of despair, if you only see the darkness within us all.  The rejection, the denial, the self interest.

And what if we don't have choice?

Well, what of it?  You don't have a choice.  Life will happen, people will kill, animals will die, plants will be destroyed, and plans derailed.  Even by love ones.  Our greatest critics are not the enemy, they are the ones sitting right next to you at the family table.

And what if you don't show up?

Avoidance.  Sweet measure of time.  We are so preoccupied with our own entitlement and needs, and we don't think there's an alternative but to punish those against us. Life goes on without us, we are but a spec in the greater scheme of things, and I wonder how much I really matter?  My fears and feelings, just another perspective.

And what if there is another way?

What if the holidays don't have to be so sad?  What if we can look to a new future, every day, not just the end of the year, and believe that what we do does not really matter.  That who we are are not our things, our family, our friends, our pets, our habits, our interests, our passions.

And what if we are just spectators of what already is?

Maybe there is such a thing of evolving of the species.  I have seen a change in focus in my lifetime.  People talking about new things.  But it all depends on who you talk to.  So many now believe the environment to be the top problem to solve, yet so many still believe its a hoax.

And what if all of this isn't real?

Some sad experiment by the gods.  Or one big cosmic joke.  The really sad thing is, once we're done with war, with the killing, not just of the animals, forests, but also ourselves.  What then?  What would we do and how would we be?

What if we share everything and no one needs to steal, would greed end?
What if everyone is fed with what is good for them, would we still crave what's bad?
What if there's no more additive substances, would we be bored with life?
What if  there's no technology to connect us, will we go back to fighting each other?
What if there's no religion tearing us apart and creating imaginary lines between us, would we then start to love unconditionally?

And what if we are not capable of peace?

Is that why the world needs to end?  Is that why it will be destroyed in a ball of fire, and natural disasters?  Have we outlived our welcome on this planet? And are we just spectators of a predetermined destiny?  A brutal ending to a cruel humanity.

And what if it all starts again?

expanding

I was one 

that became two

The eleventh night 

after meeting you

We soon bonded

Sharing our different past

Feeling vulnerable and naked

Love ties grew fast

The family extended

Three generations long

Combining cultures

With music and song

We gave up our cozy

North Sydney love nest

For space and comfort

In a temporary space

Until we settled down

In our beautiful home

In the middle of nature

Under our love dome

Soon to join us

Are two jumping toys

Small breaths to fill our home

With laughter and joy

Will we expand further

Is yet to be worked through

All I know is I am happy

If I can be with you

Family

I was one 

that became two

The eleventh night 

after meeting you

We soon bonded

Sharing our different past

Feeling vulnerable and naked

Love ties grew fast

The family extended

Three generations long

Combining cultures

With music and song

We gave up our cozy

North Sydney love nest

For space and comfort

In a temporary space

Until we settled down

In our beautiful home

In the middle of nature

Under our love dome

Soon to join us

Are two jumping toys

Small breaths to fill our home

With laughter and joy

Will we expand further

Is yet to be worked through

All I know is I am happy

If I can be with you

The Wemmicks - Max Lucado

You Are Special

The Wemmicks were small wooden people. Each of the wooden

people was carved by a woodworker named Eli. His workshop sat

on a hill overlooking their village.

Every Wemmick was different. Some had big noses, others had

large eyes. Some were tall and others were short. Some wore

hats, others wore coats. But all were made by the same carver

and all lived in the village. And all day, every day, the Wemmicks

did the same thing They gave each other stickers. Each Wemmick

had a box of golden star stickers and a box of gray dot stickers.

Up and down the streets all over the city, people could be seen

sticking stars or dots on one another. The pretty ones, those

with smooth wood and fine paint, always got stars. But if the

wood was rough or the paint chipped, the Wemmicks gave dots.

The talented ones got stars, too. Some could lift big sticks high

above their heads or jump over tall boxes. Still others knew big

words or could sing very pretty songs. Everyone gave them stars.

Some Wemmicks had stars all over them! Every time they got

a star it made them feel so good that they did something else

and got another star.

Others, though, could do little. They got dots. Punchinello

was one of these. He tried to jump high like the others, but

he always fell. And when he fell, the others would gather

around and give him dots. Sometimes when he fell, it would

scar his wood, so the people would give him more dots. He

would try to explain why he fell and say something silly, and

the Wemmicks would give him more dots.

After a while he had so many dots that he didn't want to go

outside. He was afraid he would do something dumb such as

forget his hat or step in the water, and then people would give

him another dot. In fact, he had so many gray dots that some

people would come up and give him one without reason.

"He deserves lots of dots," the wooden people would agree

with one another. "He's not a good wooden person." After

a while Punchinello believed them.

"I'm not a good Wemmick," he would say. The few times

he went outside, he hung around other Wemmicks who had a

lot of dots. He felt better around them.

One day he met a Wemmick who was unlike any he'd ever

met. She had no dots or stars. She was just wooden. Her name

was Lulia. It wasn't that people didn't try to give her stickers; it's just that the stickers didn't stick.

Some admired Lulia for having no dots, so they would run

up and give her a star. But it would fall off. Some would look

down on her for having no stars, so they would give her a dot.

But it wouldn't stay either.

'That's the way I want to be, 'thought Punchinello. 'I don't

want anyone's marks.' So he asked the stickerless Wemmick

how she did it.

" It's easy," Lulia replied. "every day I go see Eli."

"Eli?"

"Yes, Eli. The woodcarver. I sit in the workshop with him."

"Why?"

"Why don't you find out for yourself? Go up the hill. He's

there."

And with that the Wemmick with no marks turned and skipped away.

"But he won't want to see me!" Punchinello cried out.

Lulia didn't hear. So Punchinello went home. He sat near a

window and watched the wooden  people as they scurried

around giving each other stars and dots. "It's not right," he

muttered to himself. And he resolved to go see Eli. He walked

up the narrow path to the top of the hill and stepped into the

big shop. His wooden eyes widened at the size of everything.

The stool was as tall as he was. He had to stretch on his tiptoes

to see the top of the workbench. A hammer was as long as

his arm.  Punchinello swallowed hard.

" I'm not staying here!" and he turned to leave. Then he heard

his name.

"Punchinello?" The voice was deep and strong. Punchinello

stopped. "Punchinello! How good to see you. Come and let

me have a look at you."

Punchinello turned slowly and looked at the large bearded

craftsman.

"You know my name?" the little Wemmick asked. "Of course

I do. I made you."

Eli stooped down and picked him up and set him on the bench.

"Hmm," the maker spoke thoughtfully as he inspected the gray

circles.  "Looks like you've been given some bad marks."

"I didn't mean to, Eli. I really tried hard."

"Oh, you don't have to defend yourself to me, child.

I don't care what the other Wemmicks think."

"You don't?"

"No, and you shouldn't either. Who are they to give

stars or dots? They're Wemmicks just like you. What

they think doesn't matter, Punchinello. All that matters

is what I think. And I think you are pretty special."

Punchinello laughed. "Me, special? Why? I can't walk fast. I

can't jump. My paint is peeling. Why do I matter to you?"

Eli looked at Punchinello, put his hands on those small wooden

shoulders, and spoke very slowly. "Because you're mine.

That's why you matter to me."

Punchinello had never had anyone look at him like this--much

less his maker. He didn't know what to say.

"Every day I've been hoping you'd come," Eli explained.

"I came because I met someone who had no marks."

"I know. She told me about you."

"Why don't the stickers stay on her?"

"Because she has decided that what I think is more

important than what they think. The stickers only

stick if you let them."

"What?"

"The stickers only stick if they matter to you. The

more you trust my love, the less you care about the

stickers."

"I'm not sure I understand."

"You will, but it will take time. You've got a lot of

marks. For now, just come to see me every day and

let me remind you how much I care."

Eli lifted Punchinello off the bench and set him on the ground.

"Remember," Eli said as the Wemmick walked out the

door. "You are special because I made you. And I don't

make mistakes."

Punchinello didn't stop, but in his heart he thought, "I think he

really means it."

And when he did, a dot fell to the ground.

By Max Lucado

Secret Admirer

My foot is kicking a dream ball as I awake.  The smell of coffee tickle my nose, inviting my eyes to open.  As they start to focus I see a greyheaded woman lying next to me on the unfamiliar double bed.  My heart sink as I remember: I am having a sleep over at grandma's.

My first memory of visiting her was when I was only three years old.  The corners of grandma's mouth were dragged down, as if imaginary strings were tied to the ground. I cried that I wanted to go home, but grandma would get annoyed at my sobbing.  "You won't die without your mother!", she said, "You may as well stop your wining, you'll be back home before you know it." I am much older now and  has learned not to show my true feelings around her.

My eyes slowly move around the small bedroom.  single bed against the wall, neatly made, with a black and grey photo of a man and woman above it.  Their faces look serious like they did at war time. Grandpa once told me it is a wedding photo of his mom and dad.  I would stare at it for hours, trying to find traces of hope and happiness.

Slurping noises came from the kitchen, encouraging me to get up.  Grandpa is up already, an early riser, just like me.  I carefully leave the bed not to wake the sleeping body next to me.  As I tip toe through the lounge,  I can smell the scent of old people.  The furniture is simple, yet everything that is needed for comfortable living; no more,no less.

As I enter the kitchen grandpa looked up from the book on the table. "You're up early?" He says slowly, as if he has just woken up himself.  Grandpa loves his quiet time in the morning.  It is his time for contemplation without disturbance from anyone, except for me when I visit.

"What are you reading?" I asked, hoping he would tell me a story, like he normally does when we have our unplanned morning meetings.  "I'm reading about love."  he says with a serious but calm look on his face.  "That it is patient and kind, and is not jealous." He stares out in front of him as if he has forgotten that I am there.  And I know he is thinking about grandma.

I remember a previous morning sitting at the dining room table in deep conversation with grandpa, he suddenly stopped talking, staring out to the bedroom door.  I was invisible for the next few seconds.  I turned around in my chair and I could see a glimpse of grandma's naked reflection in the dressing table mirror.  I looked at Grandpa and he turned to me, leaning forward and whisper "It is the only pleasure I have left. That, and the memories."

Grandpa is always fond of talking about the past, but what ever happened to turn grandma's smile upside down as if she is constantly swallowing bitter spit, will be a family secret that I may never uncover.  Is Grandpa's love so patient that he is content with a life of secret admiration for the woman he still love and adore?

  

Dream

Dear diary,

I had a dream last night about my work and what I'll be doing next.

I dreamt I still worked with Schalk and he was developing a new service line to train and ups kill the youth about what they needed to know about nature and sustainability.

It was about preparing youth to have a different mindset than previous generations, to equip them to take care of the planet, and not just take for their own sake.

To respect all living beings as sacret, no matter what my opinion of them is.

My dream changed into being in a lineup to jump into a dark tube, which assumable lead into a tank of water.  Before I jumped I analysed if it would be better just to dive in and if it was going to be deep enough if the momentum takes me down faster and thus deeper into the water.  

Everyone else just jumped without question.

When will I jump?

The 4 habits to make this year awesome - Robin Sharma

Link to the video
https://youtu.be/d2QZiMsmtJg


4 Habits

1. One page plan - look at it every 7 days
1. Write your magnificent obsession in one paragraph (If you had a magic wand, what would that looks like)
2. 3 top values
3. What you need to do to make this your best year yet per quarter
2. Make the holy hour a daily rituals
1. 20 min exercise
2. 20 min learn
3. 20 min journal/review schedule
4. Expand your limits by going to the edge of your ability
3. Second Wind Workout
1. Do another 20 min of exercise
2. level out sugar levels by going for an hour walk
4. Scheduling: Weekly design system
1. The things that get scheduled are the things that get done
2. Write down your victories for the week and a rating
3. Build your days around your priorities

Notes:

• "Clarity precedes Mastery"
• "You never will be able to hit a target you can't see"
• Every dream starts now
• Mark Twain: "Sorry I'm writing you a long letter, I didn't have time to write you a short one"
• "He who sweats more in training bleeds more in war"
• "When you transform your fitness you transport your business"
• "Dream big, start small...
• "Focus is more valuable than intelligence"
• "There is nothing so useless to do efficiently that which should not be done at all" Peter Drucker
• "A job is only a job if you choose to see it as a job"
• Your work is your chance to express your genius and creativity
• Your work is your chance to be an instrument of service to humanity 
• Become Picasso level in your work (one of the greats)
• Get world class fitness
• Get world class learning: Learning is an investment not a cost
• Your life is too important to be waisted

Worry - Robin Sharma

https://youtu.be/Ft5Fk7GvzcA

I liked what he said about the two most important things you have:

1.       Mental Focus

2.       Physical Energy

So many people go through life where they don’t feel they have the physical energy to build the life they really want.  That could be because they don’t have mental focus, or because they focus on what is not congruent with them.  It all starts with doing what you love, and feeling in balance with your values (heart), your thoughts (mind), and your actions (gut).  We seem to confuse our feelings from our intuition. 

Feelings are influenced by our thoughts and our actions, we do first then we feel. Not the other way around.  Although we tend to ‘do what we feel’ which leads to doing the same thing over and over again.  If we start knowing how we’ll feel after doing something, we build a ritual to create the feelings we want.

If we exercise, we can either focus on the pain, or the feeling after the exercise to motivate us to do it again.  Rituals is about doing it because it is time, not because you feel like it.  I used to write every morning when I woke up, and just before I go to bed.  I want to start doing that again. 

Time Management

Unproductive (busy) work
Work that you do that can be done later


Plan your work
- Priority
- Task
- What is it?
- Who
- Start
- Due Date
- Time


My Responsibilities
- Plan new orders, what is implemented
- what is on hold, why? remove obstacles
-

KPIs for 2016 - how will we measure
- Review Spider Strategies
- Build Excel view in the meantime
- Jobs in/out



WIP for Nov - bill/write off old WIP
Appoint Scheduler, define scheduling process for VC

Contemplation at Gold Coast Water

Is it possible to take the city out of the girl,
when you take the girl out of the city?

How long does it take to get the noise out of your head
even when your ears can no longer hear it?

Is it only when you let your ears hear the quacking of flying ducks
The call of an early rising turtle dove
The chirpinng of small birds playing in the trees?

How many fish has to jump out of the water
before you stop feeling like one?
How many ripples in the water does it take to make a storm?

Thoughts buzzing and hovering like bugs around your head
Fighting for your attention, feelings of unfulfilled responsiblities left behind
In your desparate attempt to be everything and nothing at the same time
you achive neither, and left with a feeling of dispair

What would happen if you take each thought on its own,
and write it all out to get it out of your head.
Then pick the hard things first you can do something about
and you'll feel a sense of achievement to calm your mind

But what if life is not about achieving, but for us to enjoy with others?
Will you create a life for yourself that will allow you the time to enjoy the view?

Birthday letter

Dear Anrie,

Make this year count!!!

You have the support you seek now.  Excuses be gone!

Go and get the life you dream of.  You now have your woman who supports you in all you do, but YOU need to step up and take it. Do it.  Follow your purpose.

Consolidate your years of research.

Finish your book, add new poems and start your new book.

Do what you must to sort out your finances.

Go love your woman!

Birthday Poem from Aileen

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANRIE my twin soulmate
Who triggers issues for me to contemplate
You are kind but determined to reflect the truth
No escape from the realities you unearth

I miss you so much my SPECIAL friend. (Ha Ha!)

The one on whom I can depend
To let me see my faults and flaws
Correct them and grow in confidence

So much has changed for you in a year
New country, new girlfriend, home and career
From anguish and sorrow and rebound love
To finding Jean the light of your life

I know Jean feeds you healthy food
Biodynamic which is super good
And now her new Vitamix toy
I'm sure will bring you both great joy

I'm so happy that Jean spoils you to pieces
As you dear sis deserve fulfilled wishes
You've become part of an instant family
A cultural experience with respect each way

You cant help but try to uplift all you meet
Give guidance and clarity and support so complete
You're driven by your spiritual soul
To assist everyone to achieve their goal

I feel the time has come to change career
Something more rewarding is required here
This job you're in doesn't resonate with your soul
So look out for opportunities that align with your goal

Your book is very nearly complete
A long painstaking, arduous feat
You're onto research for the next one
Moving closer to your lifes mission

So today as you deliberate on your life
Give thanks for the joy and the strife
As both are essential to your growth
and part of your journey in search of your truth

So my dear friend Anrie on your special day
Much love and happiness I'm sending your way
Hope the day is filled with joy and fun
And cant wait to see the silhouette pics of you and Jean!

A Thousand Years - Princess

"A Thousand Years"

Heart beats fast

Colors and promises

How to be brave?

How can I love when I'm afraid to fall?

But watching you stand alone,

All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow.

One step closer

I have died every day waiting for you

Darling, don't be afraid I have loved you

For a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more

Time stands still

Beauty in all she is

I will be brave

I will not let anything take away

What's standing in front of me

Every breath

Every hour has come to this

One step closer

I have died every day waiting for you

Darling, don't be afraid I have loved you

For a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you

Time has brought your heart to me

I have loved you for a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more

One step closer

One step closer

I have died every day waiting for you

Darling don't be afraid I have loved you

For a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you

Time has brought your heart to me

I have loved you for a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more

3 Andromeda

For more information: http://www.lightconnection.org/planet...
Those with an Andromeda (galaxy) planetary 
origin seek freedom. There is a deep inner thirst 
and drive that leads them to search for this feeling 
of freedom. They may change jobs, homes or 
relationships in their search for freedom. At some 
point, they will realize that the freedom they seek 
and the feelings they often have of being trapped 
are not due to their actual circumstances. 

The true freedom they seek comes only from 
within. It is found only by developing self love, and 
the inner spiritual self. The mature Andromedan 
has realized this, and works with this knowledge to 
create a reality that allows these needs to be 
honored, while continuing to grow in other areas.

Andromedans must work with issues of self-
confidence and love. These areas may be obvious 
in their need for development, or they may be 
disguised. When self love and confidence are 
developed, the inner freedom and spiritual 
connectedness will be found within...where it has 
always been, if the trust and faith in self were 
present to allow it to be seen. As this develops, the 
connection between self and God becomes strong. 
This allows past life memories to flow, and many 
old talents begin to awaken to be used once again.

Many Andromedan souls discover they have much 
to offer others on a spiritual pathway and become 
known as teachers and healers. Andromedans 
enjoy travel and thrive on experiencing many types 
of realities. They enjoy excitement, activity, and 
variety. They may also have early desires to visit 
past life homes, shown as desires to visit certain 
places or interest in certain areas or time periods 
without understanding why. Many souls from the 
Andromeda galaxy may enjoy driving fast, or flying 
in airplanes, as this stimulates subconscious 
memories of 'home'. 

Andromedans tend to create dramatic learning 
scenarios for themselves, due to their tendency to 
be self-critical and not take themselves seriously. 
Through learning to 'notice' smaller growth 
opportunities and lessons, they will begin to avoid 
creating larger dramas.

The Andromedan tendency to be self-critical may 
lead them to expect others to be critical of them. 
They are often surprised at finding how well they 
are liked by others! Outwardly, many Andromedan 
are confident, capable, and outgoing with well 
developed abilities to communicate with others. 
They are very good at keeping the inner fears, 
doubts and insecurities inside and presenting a 
very different 'face' to the outside world.

They may be well suited to teaching, health care or 
careers which involve traveling. Some learn to 
combine the attraction to drama with writing or 
acting, and express themselves in those ways.

Andromedans have healing and communication 
abilities which are often felt early in childhood. 
These are often ignored or discouraged by family 
members, and must later be retrieved. 
Andromedans are sensitive, caring individuals who 
have much compassion and ability to put 
themselves in another's position and truly 
empathize. There is a desire to work with healing 
the physical, emotional, or psychic pains of 
mankind.