Happiness is...

Dear diary,

Isn't it funny how life are just a cycle and recycle of old thoughts? No matter how hard you try to create new habits, new ways of living, the old ones just keep on coming back.

You can change everything around you, but if you do not change the one thing that is not aligned with who you are, you keep on coming back to the same old feelings.

Or not? If you change every single thing and person around you, will it make one ounce of difference? I heard a saying many years ago that I'm sure you know it too, a simple phrase, but difficult to face. It force us to focus within, and now without.

"The world is your mirror"

Short, sweet, and seems harmless as the words roll over your tongue, and through your mind, and sometimes easily cleared by your internal thought filters. What does that really mean? Everything you see is a reflection of yourself. So, if you are not happy with what you see, if you stand in judgement of the world and see it as harsh, discriminating and conditional, does that not mean that by definition you are the same?

If the world is judging you, it is reflecting back your own judgemental behaviour. If the world seems unfair, think back when you have treated someone else unfairly. It shouldn't take too long to remember. When people seem sad around you, is it not because you recognise your own sadness and despair?

I struggle with this concept, as it is much easier to think it is outside circumstances that makes us miserable than ourselves. Not having to take responsibility for our actions and feelings and blame it on others is much easier than having to reflect on what the cause may be of our current situation.

They say you shouldn't make any major decisions when you are down / depressed. Fair enough, but if the same thoughts comes up when you are down, is it not worth while to consider that maybe the solutions you think of when you are down is worth pursuing?

Denial. Some problems just never goes away no matter how much 'change' you through at it. If you don't fix the core, you just continue to ignore it. But then again, you may not be seeing the wood for the trees. Who is to say what you see is real? What is real, anyway? Is it thoughts, a feeling, or just something you know?

Faith. Something we believe to be true. Yet, your truth may not be true for others.

Maybe life is just an experiment. A play ground where we are mixed with different situations to test how far the human spirit can go, how much it can take before it breaks away and claim the life it is meant to live. And what does that mean? Does that mean that once we've past the test, broke the rules of the experiment to proof the human spirit is undefinable, our life ends?

Just to move on the the next test or experiment. A new house of mirrors.

Happiness is... a reflextion.