Beating Anger

I cannot sleep, and I don't know why. My shoulder is tender again. I really need to excersise.

I'm reading 'beating anger' and the author suggest I keep a journal of all my feelings & experiences.

Anger has always been part of human existence, but the rules on how to express it changes through time.

Anger increases when fast foods are basic diet, as well as lack of role models.

Everyone has a unique experience of reality.
Assumptions --> Expectations --> Resentments

What is your thoughts, feelings, needs and desires?

When you learn about personal power, you derive meaning from WHO you are, not WHAT they do / money

Passive aggression can lead to depression.

If you are angry at me
I don't have to be angry at you
I do not have to become like you
Nor do I have to take responsibility for your anger

"In order to grow, you need something to push against". - Jung

Don't assume that people stay constant...

HOW PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE ARE YOU?

• Secrecy: I only say what is necessary, withholding information so that someone cannot use information against me, or make fun of my ideas / thoughts / dreams.
• Silent treatment: I would rather ignore someone / situation than to discuss the problem at hand (reactively)
• Play stupid / innocent: If I am not asked to participate in a situation, I stay quiet. If I know something, I pretend that I don't hear what is said, or that I don't know.
• Refuse Help: I find it very difficult to accept help from others. I will only accept it if I know I can return the favour soon, in double.
• Need things to be clean, tidy & in order: when upset I clean the kitchen / house to vent my anger. I am calmer afterwards.
• Avoidance: I will not answer every call I get if I do not feel up to it, same with mail.
• Put myself down: Expect myself to be perfect, never making a mistake so that I cannot be judged. I cannot stand judgement / criticism, so I will do it first so that others have to complement me to make me feel better.
• Under-achieving: Scared to be the best I can be. Afraid of failure. Comfortable to blame others for holding me back.
• Self-medicating with alcohol/food: when stressed, it is the first thing I grab!

HOW AGGRESSIVE ARE YOU?

• Sarcasm: Not very often, but I can get a hit in with a snitching comment and ignore the hurt it causes!

HOW ASSERTIVE ARE YOU?

• Direct, Honest: Non-aggressive body language
• Honour, morality, fairness, justice:
  Take responsibility for thoughts, feelings, behaviour
  Not abusing power
• Stick to the facts
• Stay in present moment
• Being clear about emotional boundaries
• Not attached to being liked or outcome
• remain calm & adult
  Need to:
  - Stay with issues until sorted out
  - Not take anything personally
  - commit to relationship / resolution no matter what
• Passion: Enthusiasm
• Sensitive to consequences of actions
• Have wit/humour
• Always looking for solution
• Open to learn/discover
  
• Be more able to:
  - hear people's anger & grievances
  - Admit own shortcomings
  - Sensitive to limitations of others (non-judgemental)