The joys of depression - by Rodney Farber

THE JOYS OF DEPRESSION – by Rodney Farber

While normally happy and energetic, like millions of other people I suffered from occasional bouts of depression.  When I got depressed, I felt like a complete failure, like my whole world was collapsing.  It was a terrible feeling, but I assumed that I could do nothing except wait to come out of it.

  One day, though, as I bussed to work in the midst of a deep depression, an elderly man struggled onto the bus and settled into the empty seat next to me.  This man seemed to be as happy as I was unhappy.  He was softly whistling popular standards to himself and smiling broadly, as if bemused by some wonderful secret.  Finally, I could resist no longer.  “Excuse me, sir,” I asked, “but you seem to be so happy.  Can I ask you why?”

  “Oh,” the man replied, “I’m not happy at all.  Everything in my life has gone wrong.  I have no money, no place to live; my children don’t speak to me.  I don’t even know where my next meal is coming from.  The truth is, I’m terribly depressed.”

  I was confused.  This man seemed to be happy that he was depressed.  “But if you’re so depressed,” I asked, “why do you appear to be so happy?”

  The old man smiled, then explained, “Oh, that.  You see, I learned a long time ago that being depressed could be a wonderful thing.  Because if you’re never depressed, how can you know when you’re happy?”

  I was shocked by the old man’s wisdom.  As I sat there on the cross-town bus, I suddenly understood that happiness was a comparative thing.  If I was never depressed, I’d never have anything to compare it to, so I couldn’t possibly enjoy being happy!

  I got off that bus a different person.  I’d always thought of depression as something negative, something to be avoided whenever possible.  But suddenly I realized how little I’d appreciated this misunderstood emotion.  It wasn’t depression that was making me feel bad, I was feeling bad because I was depressed.  If I could only learn how to be happy when I was depressed, I’d never have to worry about it again.  I needed to stop trying to resist depression and instead welcome it as an old friend: Hello, depression!

  From that moment on depression had an entirely new meaning for me.  The more I got depressed, the happier I knew I could be.  Instead of avoiding people when I was depressed, I began seeking them out.  And in response to their polite question “How you feeling?”  I’d gleefully reply, “I’m depressed!”

  Every day, in every way, I began to change.  The more I embraced depression, the happier I became when I was depressed.  I have learned that depression doesn’t have to be … depressing.  It is simply the other side of happiness.