Table Manners

TABLE MANNERS – by Robert Simon

There once was a time when the fork was King of the Table.  Proud and alone, the fork ruled his domain.  And there was peace and harmony on the tabletop.  Everything was fine – until the night that soup was served.

The fork could not lift the soup.  He tried and tried, but there was nothing he could do.  Each time he dipped into the soup, it dribbled through his long, thin tines.  Finally, the spoon, the fork’s oldest enemy, came along.  “I can lift the soup,” said the spoon.

Reluctantly, the fork accepted the assistance of the spoon.  Together, the fork realized, they could be even more powerful.  Working as a team, it seemed as if there was nothing they could not accomplish.  And once again, everything on the tabletop was peaceful – until the night that meat was served.

The fork and the spoon worked together, but as hard as they tried, they could not cut the meat.  Finally, the knife, the enemy of both the fork and the spoon, came along.  “I can cut the meat,” said the knife.

Reluctantly, the fork and the spoon accepted the assistance of the knife.  The knife cut the meat and the fork picked it up.  Together, the fork, the spoon, and the knife were all-powerful.  Working as a team, there was truly nothing they could not accomplish.

And so, for a time, peace and harmony reigned on the tabletop.  For it was true; working together, the fork, the spoon, and the knife were able to accomplish all that was demanded of them.  But then one dark night, lemon meringue pie was served.  The knife said quickly, “I can cut it”.  The spoon said pleasantly, “And I can pick it up.”  But the fork said, “I can cut it and pick it up.

So once again, there was distrust on the tabletop.  And while the spoon was busily occupied picking up the lemon meringue pie, the fork whispered to the knife, “You know, we don’t really need the spoon.  And if we get rid of him, there’ll be more for us!”  So while the spoon’s handle was turned, the fork and the knife pushed him off the table.

For a time, there was an uneasy peace on the tabletop.  Then one day a big piece of chocolate cake was served.  Chocolate cake was the fork’s favourite dessert.  The fork cut into the cake and picket it up.  It was delicious!  And as the fork cut another piece, he realized he didn’t need the knife anymore.  So that night, when the knife had his blade turned, the fork pushed him off the table.

Once again, the fork was King of the Table.  And there was peace and happiness.  Until the very next night – when once again, soup was served.