Communication must be one of the many wonders of our world. It is amazing how we can understand one another. Or shall I say it is no wonder there are so many misunderstandings.
The experts say the words we speak are only 7% of how we communicate with one another. The rest is tone, body language, and intuition. Most part of it I believe is the vibration we give off to others. You cannot see the vibration, but it is the underlying energy that surrounds you. Think of it as energy waves that vibrate between us. This vibration is what cause our like or dislike in someone instantaneously.
Our logical brain then takes over and starts looking for reasons why we like or dislike someone. We look for small things that irritate us so we can have a logical explanation for not liking someone. However, we find ourselves being hippocrates when someone we like does exactly the same thing, but because we like them (based on feeling) you 'excuse' their behaviour or are blind to their shortcomings.
This is really a good thing, or else we will not like anyone at all! Face it; we all have reasons why someone might not like us. For example, some may say I am always friendly and polite, and it looks like I'm always (mostly) happy to see them. While others may say that I'm a fake and only pretend to be nice. The second group of people may feel this way if they have an underlying instinct telling them I cannot be trusted. This makes them suspicious of my motives.
Motivation.... manipulation. Good? Bad?
What is our motivation to communicate with one another? It is always to get what we want. Even those that believe they are not, they also communicate with others to get what they want. Some are just better at it than others. Some may even have so much skill in motivating others that they end up manipulate people to get what they want.
But is it not just words we selected ourselves to make us feel better if we say we motivate someone as opposed to say we manipulate someone? Manipulate means to influence someone. If you are telling a lie to influence someone in your favour, and withholding something, we would use the word manipulate to indicate we are using our power over another to get what we want. However, we are still not forcing someone, but are merely in the position to influence someone’s opinion or perception if they are not knowledgeable of the topic of discussion.
Motivate on the other hand means to inspire someone. To encourage them to act as if it was their idea. To stir someone into action in a specified direction. To make them believe in your cause, to move in the direction you want them to move.
Is this really so different than manipulation? Is the difference that ... with motivation... there is more trust? I don't think so, because even if you are manipulated into doing something, you still trust that you will be doing the right thing (if you don't know you are being manipulated).
The difference may be in the person doing the motivation / manipulation. If you lie to get your way you manipulate people. If you play open cards (educate someone until they are confident enough to make up their own mind) and you want the best for yourself and the other person, then one may say you are motivating them to do something.
So it all comes down to the agenda of the person in power. Is it hidden or open? But then again, even if someone in power is trying to manipulate you into doing something that might benefit the person doing the manipulation, but others may also gain from it, is it still manipulation?
Is this where humanity was born where one person may not use another for personal gain? Did human rights movement have any effect in reducing the power / control of one person over another?
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